A Mexican Tall-Tale

(Driving toward Gila Bend on the way to Mexico)

I wish I had taken more pictures of the events that occurred in Mexico...because people couldn't possibly believe our stories without some sort of evidence. All I know is Ian and I laughed all the way home, continuing long after we crossed the border and we both decided we REALLY like living in the USA.

But I'm getting ahead of myself...so many good experiences to share before it all went horribly wrong.

We headed down to Rocky Point, Mexico on Thursday night. As usual, Ian drove like an 80-year woman (no offense to any 80 year-old women reading this), and the other couple we were following have since vowed NEVER to caravan with us on a road-trip unless I drive. Ian just likes to take in his surroundings and he doesn't understand why everyone is always in a hurry. I'm thinking our drive to Yellowstone this summer is going to take about a month. Wish me luck, people. =)

As soon as we crossed the border into Mexico, Ian announces "Isn't it amazing that we're in a Third World Country?" Yeah, fascinating, now can we crack open a beer and step on the pedal? I need to see the beach.

(heading into Mexico)

We luckily arrived safely--no Drug Cartels in sight. Whew!

And we woke up to the beautiful sight of the ocean--oh, how I love the sound of the ocean and smell of the salty air! But it was hot down there and humid--but nothing that a cold cervaza and a refreshing pool couldn't resolve.

(view of the condo from the beach)

Ava and Kylee couldn't wait to go looking for seashells.


Pool was amazing. We loved just sitting at the edge and staring off into the distance.
Friday mid-afternoon we decided we needed to check out the local bar scene and grab something to eat. JJ's is the bar everyone goes to and during the Fall and Spring, the place gets packed. Growing up I used to go their with my friends and their parents and get away with stuff we probably shouldn't have--but it was way fun. And in Mexico, no one seems to think it's inappropriate to bring children to a bar! Ha!

Ava gave an impromptu performance of Hanna Montana's 'Best of Both Worlds'. I think she might like the stage...
Friday night, we left the kids with the babysitter (a friend of Kyle and Amy's who traveled with them to Mexico) and we headed out for some more drinks and dinner. At this point, I think I had been drinking for about 6 hrs straight and had not gotten a lot of sleep the night before. I'm just warning you--because it's about to get ridiculous...

So, we first headed to Mary's (an open air bar, right on the water), for what you ask? You guessed it--more cervezas!!! Are you kidding me? We got serenaded and we laughed and I was still feeling pretty good. I should have stopped right there and went home.

Instead, we went to Portofinos for dinner and that's when I decided that my head was WAY TOO HEAVY. I needed to take a nap. I layed my head on the table and went "night-night."

Don't I look peaceful? I normally wouldn't post such "scandalous" pictures of myself, but this one is funny to me. The best part is--in Mexico, apparently no one seems to notice or care when you nap at the dinner table in a crowded restaurant! Lucky me! And Ian even bought me a rose! =)

I eventually woke up from my little siesta and we managed to make it back to the condo. No surprise, Saturday I wasn't feeling all that well, but by mid-afternoon I was ready to party again. I mean, it's Mexico and beer is watered down anyway.

We spent the entire day out at the pool, listening to music and just enjoying the feeling of not a care in the world.

And that night, we ate dinner in and then sat out on the balcony and watched the sky light up. Yep, even in Mexico people celebrated the 4th of July with fireworks. It was just so relaxing and fun.

Sunday, we packed up early and headed out to cross the border before the lines got long. (If you wait until later in the day, you can expect to sit in traffic for a couple of hours while Border Patrol Agents question and search each car).

And this is the part of the trip when things get WEIRD. As Ian likes to say--events right out of a Quentin Tarantino movie.

We're just driving along the highway, minding our own business, when suddenly Ian and I are both asking "What the hell in that?" Quickly we realize that right before our eyes, in the middle of the highway, stand 3 little puppies. And it's times like these when I want to scream "WHY ME?" Where could these puppies have come from?

Without thinking twice, Ian slams on his brakes and pulls over to the side of the road. Not much is around us, just a few ranch houses miles apart.

We coax the puppies over to our car, they hide near our tires in the shade. Ian and I are grabbing waters and cups and frantically trying to get the puppies out from underneath our car and into some shade further away from the road. I start carrying the puppies to the shade, when I hear Ian screaming "Jordan, Jordan, get out of there---RUN! Get into the &*%$*&#* car!" I turnaround and I see a HUGE Rottweiler charging towards me. I don't think I've ever run so fast in my life. Just as I reached the car and got in, the Rottweiler jumped towards the car door. Can you say CRAZY?

Luckily the owner of the big dog comes out of the house and calls the dog back and ties it up. I was relieved until I got a closer look at the owner. The owner was a cross-dressing, transvestite, with drawn-in eyebrows. An image that will haunt me and Ian for months. The "she-man" utters something we can't understand and walks away. We're left sitting there wondering, what's next?

Now that the Rottweiler is tied up, I exit the car again and return to the puppies. We give the puppies water and Ian feeds them left-over chicken we had in the cooler. They devoured the food and water. I wanted so badly to put them in the car and take them home with me, but I knew I couldn't.

A different owner of the house walked out and spoke to Ian. Ian explained that we had just found the puppies on the highway and asked if the guy would at least drive the puppies into the town to give them a better chance at surviving.

We got back into the car feeling very sad and a little scared about the events that unfolded. Why us? What just had happened? We were lucky that we got out of their unharmed.

So we finally make it back over the border. It's amazing to me that this simple fence (pictured below) divides the "have's" from the "have-nots". We are so lucky to have been born on this side of the fence.

Once we were able to gain cell phone access, Ian and I both quickly realized something had gone on while we were away--we both had over 10 messages on our phones. Most of which were from Ian's mom, Sheryl. I called our home phone, and there were 6 more messages from Sheryl.

When Ian didn't return Sheryl's phone calls on his birthday (July 3rd), she became increasingly more worried about our whereabouts and safety. Finally on Saturday evening, Sheryl apparently became desperate, and called the Phoenix Police Department and asked them to drive over to our house and check on us. Ian's 35 yrs old, and his mom still calls the cops on him! =) While we think this response was a bit extreme, we're both so grateful to have someone who cares so much from Memphis, TN. Sheryl is a great mother bear.

I just felt bad for our neighbor, Michelle, who was over at our house checking on our dogs when Phoenix PD showed up. Michelle explained that we were in Mexico and that everything was fine. But I'm sure Michelle was freaked out too!

There's a couple lessons to be learned from this Mexican Tall Tale:

1- Don't let me drink all day if you expect me to stay awake for dinner.

2- Rescue puppies in Mexico at you're own RISK and don't walk near random ranch houses in the middle of the Mexican desert. You never know what you're going to run into.

3- Call your mom before you leave town and tell her where you're going. Next time, I'll take it upon myself to call Sheryl.

4- Be grateful for all of our blessings being citizens of the USA. We have it sooo good.